It's not uncommon for conversations about frotting and/or frottage to include people who use both terms interchangeably. Even though they sound similar and are both sexual references… these terms are, indeed, different things.
Gay sex terms can be confusing, especially when they become mainstream and, in some cases, completely lose their original meaning. So, it's not surprising that some people understand frottage and frotting as being the same kind of non-penetrative sex act.
While these practices involve pleasure by rubbing rather than pleasure through penetration, the terms should not be used interchangeably.
What is frottage?
Frottage (pronounced like mirage) comes from the French word for "to rub." This is the sexual act of rubbing your body — particularly your genitals — onto something or someone else with the objective of feeling pleasure.
Merriam-Webster defines it as frottage as "the act of obtaining sexual stimulation by rubbing against a person or object."
What is frotting?
Frotting is a specific act within frottage where two penises are rubbed together. Some gay men prefer this practice than having full-on intercourse, arguing that nothing can "give you the same experience as direct genital-on-genital sex," as explained by Man2Man Alliance founder Bill Weintraub on The Advocate back in 2005.
Who came up with the term 'frot'?
In the March 2006 issue of Out, writer Erik Piepenburg explored the phenomenon of frottage, which is the sexual act of rubbing your body on something, and why it's so important to gay history and culture.
As an act between two gay men, Piepenburg defined frottage as "an erotic act of rubbing the penis against another surface — sometimes, though not always, another penis."
In this story written for Out in 2006, Piepenburg interviewed Bill Weintraub and "a go-to guy for all things frottage," which is when the meanings of frotting and frottage were divorced from each other and explained as distinctive pleasurable acts.
"'Frot' is a word I coined," Weintraub said. "I don't use the word 'frottage' because it's an ersatz French word that can indicate any sort of erotic rubbing. Frot, by contrast, is always phallus-to-phallus sex."
"Frot is most often done in a front-to-front embrace, where guys can kiss while rubbing c*cks," he added. "The focus is keeping the erect penises in contact, because that's what sex is: genital-genital contact."